Hey all the single Blog-yoncés out there,
Today I am writing about a very serious matter: REJECTION. More specifically, rejection from that job you always wanted, the job you desperately needed to pay your rent and buy your food, or that job that was supposed to be your gateway out of your current life-draining employment situation....
Now, a good friend of mine recently experienced the crushing blow of rejection and so, out of curiosity and obsession with the interwebs, I googled "how to cope with job rejection." I am not sure what I expected to find, but what I found was a plethora of career counselors and executive coaches eager to lift you out of your post-rejection depression with inspiring proverbs and sympathetic stories of personal triumph.
For example, in an article boasting 10 ways to cope with job rejection, the personal career coach expounds upon the following suggestions:
#1 Don't take it personally
#8 Accept responsibility:Don't blame others
#10 Stretch yourself!
Okay #1, even if you know you shouldn't take something personally, sometimes a bruised ego just can't be prevented, and no amount of self-talk is going to shield you from the blow. #8 is simply incorrect because it is absolutely and completely the hiring committee's fault for not hiring you. Period. And #10 is just dumb. She actually suggests literally going to the gym and stretching your interview-weary muscles. She then tells you to find a place in your life where you can "go to the edge" and be extreme. I personally don't think that base-jumping off the nearest high-rise is going to lift you from the throes of dejection (although hang-gliding might...)
Another blog post starts off with, "much like love, getting a job is about making a good match." So...he is basically saying that being rejected by this employer is just like being rejected by that guy or girl you had a crush on all your life (Bryce Hunt, I still love you). Thanks, now you can bask in the memory of that rejection too.....encouragement FAIL.
The main problem with the articles I found on the internet is that they all include some sort of story about how they eventually found the job that they wanted. That is GREAT...for them, but what about you? You are still unemployed, stuck at that dead end job, or left dumbfounded that they choose her over you!!!! They are writing from a place that is far removed from the rejection, but in those first few hours after being rejected, you've got to have a different coping strategy.
So if you just found out that your potential new employer is going in a different direction, try these simple steps:
1. Curse and swear like you've never done before. Make sure small children and your grandmother are out of earshot, then let 'er rip. If it doesn't help at first, try out those really nasty swear words that you aren't really sure the meaning of, but you've heard on movies and HBO original series.
2. Next, you've got to have a physical outlet. If you have to drive home after receiving the call, take a moment before you start the car to pound on the steering wheel with both fists. If you accidentally hit the horn and it beeps very loudly, don't even worry about it. I mean, you don't give a *?#! you just got rejected. Hit the wheel once very hard out of rage, then several more times out of exasperation until you collapse.
3. Bawl your eyes out. I sometimes start this step during step #2.
4. Vent to your friends. The best of friends will repeat steps 1 and 2 with you, and the worst of friends will tell you not to take it personally.
5. Secretly fantasize about all the ways the newly hired candidate could possibly screw up really badly at their new job, sending their employer into a fit of regret and remorse for not having hired you. When you are finished, remind yourself that you are better than that and stop.
6. When you are good and ready, get back on the horse and apply for another job. If you just can't muster up the energy to compose another self aggrandizing cover letter, than pick up an application to subway and fill it out. Sometimes it helps to feel like you are moving on. Even if you aren't, you really are. Oh yeah, and always carry a HUGE binder with you at interviews...it's super impressive.
Okay, so....hopefully this was somewhat helpful to those of you who were recently rejected from a job and are looking for a break from all those career blogs written by people who get paid to write blogs in their pajamas.
I'll share a more uplifting post soon.
lovecare.
Afternoon News Bytes: March 2, 2012
17 minutes ago
Yea! Job Rejection! Hi. My name is Sara. I just had my first major job rejection. I am currently between steps 4 & 5 of your effective coping strategies. Steps 1,2 and 3 were all very effective.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your rejection, but glad I could offer some solace...good luck on your next endeavor!
ReplyDeleteI just read the same advice posting (#10, Stretch Yourself!) and I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought the author was not exactly helpful. I've been laid off for a year and have been rejected at least 10 times (I have one of those "niche/specialty" white collar jobs). I can't even get a P/T mall job because I don't have retail experience. I go on interviews--sometimes I get a second interview--but can't seem to "close the deal" as a pretty insensitive person said to me. My self-esteem is definitely taking a beating...at least I got a chuckle out of your column. Hasn't been much lately to smile about.
ReplyDeleteI realize this comes a bit late, but I had to chime in. I totally loved this; finally a clue about how real people think instead of all that official attitude pablum I read elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this. I have been doing through your steps a couple of times. It made me feel SO much better.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this. I have recently faced a string of consistent rejection and it has taking a beating on my self-esteem and confidence. I've been trying not to personalize it but it's so hard not to when I know the hiring decisions are based on "fit" and "personality." I've made it to second round interviews and nothing. I feel like I've improved my interview skills and have done internships in the last year and still nothing. Trying not to get too depressed. Been crying on and off for the past two days but I will move on. Thanks for letting me vent...lol.
ReplyDeleteSo yesterday, I graduated from uni. After six long long years, of many tears , heartache, essays and group work. Today, I got rejected from a job. Way to bring a girl down. It wasn't necessarily a job that I absolutely, definitely, wanted, but still a day after graduating, I didn't want to be rejected. Cause that is just shitty timing. I love your steps, my problem is, I am living with my mum (until I can get that elusive job) and she is one of those, "don't take it personally, something will come along" people, and its driving me mad.
ReplyDeleteThe other "sage" piece of wisdom she gives me is not to compare myself to others, and quite frankly, that is pretty hard when some of the girls in my same class have been offered multiple jobs, and are turning them down. And quite frankly, they don't deserve it, they don't work hard, and they aren't very good at their professions (I know because I did prac with them).
Sometimes life is shit. Especially when its got timing like this. And I so wish I didn't have to live with my mother who's telling me "it will all be ok". Cause right now, its not. And its shit.
Obviously, I am venting. Sorry, and thankyou for giving me the space. I think I might go have a cry now, in my bedroom, with the door shut, so my mother doesn't come in.
Just been for an interview, and thought I'd be the eternal pessimist and check out how to cope with rejection before I get the call.
ReplyDeleteI'll no doubt be working my way through the swearing and steering wheel beating on Thursday. This makes me sound like a wimp but I really don't want to receive the rejection call while at work with a few hours until home time. Anyway thanks for giving me some coping tips and I Hope the rest of your blog readers have found their dream job.