my chair.

Greetings blog czars.

I wanted to take a moment to introduce you to a fixture of life at Hotel Feltonia - my chair.

 (chorus of "oohs" and "ahhs")

A lady who used to share our building at work, decided to join a religious order.  Before she got thee to a nunnery, she sold all her possessions.  This chair was one of them, and I was kind enough to offer her a new home.

I love my chair.  I love the color and the fabric, I love that it reclines, I love that it's not too big nor too heavy.

However, it has become a source of marital contention for two reasons: 

1) My husband thinks I am ridiculous for purchasing another item of furniture for our home because, frankly, we already have too much stuff.

2) When he comes home from work and wants some wife cuddle, I refuse to leave my chair because I love it so much.  (I mean, seriously, look how happy and comfy I look in my chair with my slanket!)

So, this past weekend, I was pretty much camped out in my chair because I was battling the onset of a cold/sinus infection and indulging in my drug of choice (Grey's Anatomy) when my chair unexpectedly attacked!  While I was in the reclined position, I reached over to the coffee table for a tissue, and the chair suddenly snapped into the upright position.  My upper arm got caught in the chair and I struggled to get the chair to return to the reclined position so that I could be released.

My first response was panic, and all I could do was utter little gasps of "ah ah ah ah!".  Then the pain came, and it was pretty painful.  After I released myself from the chair's grasp, the shame started to wash over me.  I had just been the victim of a couch potato casualty.  My excess arm flab had become a safety hazard.  I could hear a spandex-clad Billy Blanks jeering at me from inside the TV, "You wouldn't have them arm flabs if youda just got them wangs out (1) like I told you."  Touche, Billy.

To the right is a picture of the bruise that the chair gave me.  Gross.

When I told Tim about my recliner injury, he said, "that's what you get for not cuddling with me."

I guess Tim won this one (2).

lovecare.

Footnotes:


(1) "Getting your wangs out" refers to an exercise in which one extends both arms to each side like airplane wings and then circles them around (not like airplane wings).  It is a colloquial phrase - please do not look it up on urban dictionary.


(2) Marriage is not a contest...except for when I win.