musictubes.

You may or may not know this about me, but a large part of my childhood and adolescence was spent in front of a television. Whenever I tell people that Tim and I don't have cable, a part of me feels the need to quickly explain that I am not a pretentious hippie at heart - that a piece of me will always be a television fiend just like the rest of the world.

My family used to eat home-cooked meals (or buckets of KFC) while watching Wheel of Fortune and instead of "family game night," we had TGIF. I watched Inspector Gadget before I left to catch the bus for school, MacGyver when I got home, Alf while I did my homework, and, if I was really sneaky, Married w/Children, while I pretended to be asleep on the couch while my parents watched it.

Although television often got me through the daily grind of school work and extracurricular activities, my fondest TV memories are from my adolescent summers. On a typical weekday in the summer, circa junior high, I would roll out of bed around 10 and immediately turn on MTV. MTV, like mainstream radio stations, often played the exact same videos at the exact same time of day. One summer I awoke each morning to the smooth melody and mind-blowing rhymes of Skee-Lo's "I Wish." I would watch music videos through the morning, and only deviate periodically to check out Whose Line Is It Anyway? or MST3K over on the ComCen.

The other night, James Mann and I rekindled our love for watching music videos one after another in visual-audio bliss as we sat on my couch and looked up some of our favorites on the youtubes. It all started with a conversation about those old CD clubs that offered you 16 CDs for a penny, and 1 CD for $145. This led to a conversation about Wilson Phillips, after which we immediately looked up the video to their 1990 hit, "Hold On." We then watched Mariah Carey's "Someday" because James claimed it was her first hit single, to which I countered by queing her actual first hit single "Vision of Love." We then watched about 4 seconds of her new video "Touch My Body," but quickly switched because we realized how much it sucked (especially when juxtaposed to hits from her popstar past), but also because we remembered that Paula Abdul video with Keanu Reeves, "Rush." We then remembered that the best music video ever made was NIN's "Closer." Then we remembered when Johnny Cash covered NIN's "Hurt" and watched the first part of that video, but then I think Jim started to tear up watching Johnny's old wrinkly sad face, so he suggested we move on to some newer vids. So we watched some sweet videos by my new favorite band, CSS. They make good videos...I like "Alcohol."

In conclusion, if you haven't just sat and watched music videos in awhile, you should dedicate some time to it tonight. You won't regret it.

Feel free to post your favorite music videos in the comment section.

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I have not posted for a few weeks because I have been waiting for some interesting, funny, entertaining tidbit of information to pop into my brain to share with the World Wide Web (or with Seth, who may be the only person that reads this). However, since my brain has been void of such tidbits, I have remained silent.

To be honest, the last few weeks have been plagued with confusion, disappointment, anger, confrontation, frustration, sadness, compassion, and it goes without saying complete emotional weariness. I do not mean to complain about how terrible my life has been lately, or to confess a profound tragedy that has occurred. Maybe you have heard about some of the things I am writing. I would like to be clear that I am not writing about a singular event or incident or person, but several things that have come up in the last month. These incidents have forced me to reevaluate how I respond to others as a friend, as a leader in an organization, most importantly as a representative of Christ.

I guess I am publicizing this for a few reasons.

1. I want to be transparent with y'all about the things I am walking through - I guess that's sort of the point of a blog.

2. I want to encourage you to take a look at your relationships with people. How do you communicate with others? Are you aware of your own faults? Do you approach conflict with humility and empathy? Are you honest? Are you trustworthy? Do you listen? Really?

3. If you are lucky enough to have relationships with people who do trust you, who are honest with you, who are humble and understanding, please tell them how much you appreciate that. Tell them today. Tell them often. Remember that mature, healthy relationships are not to be assumed or taken for granted, they are rare and require much effort.

I hope and pray that through all this that I become a better person. That if I have handled things in an inappropriate way, that I can learn to respond differently in the future. I also hope that the hurts people have incurred along the way will be healed. That infractions on all sides would be forgiven. I guess these things go without saying, it's just that accomplishing them is very difficult.

All of that being said, I am really excited to hit up the Burgh for Easter. We will have a 3-for-1 Easter holiday complete with helping my mom move into a new house, Felton family fun, St. Mary's Catholic Church, BBQ at my dad's. Hopefully, the weekend will also include seeing baby June (Hooper)Mushrush, dying hard-boiled eggs festive pastel designs (perhaps Hannah Montana, Transformers or whatever new-fangled egg decorating kit is on display at Wal-mart), Easter cookies from the Donut Bank, and a brisk 2-mile jog.

[colon-right-half-of-parentheses]

lovecare.

I wasn't kidding.

Lucky Charms

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

Here's to a pinchless holiday. For your revert-back-to-elementary-school enjoyment, I have found a fun St. Patty's themed word search and coloring page.

This is how I plan to spend my afternoon.

Come on ride the train (whoo-whoooo)

March is here, along with some notable dates fo yo calendar. There are the Ides of March, of which you should beware if you are ever head of an ancient empire. Then there is St. Patrick's Day, which is pretty much about avoiding insistent pinchers in green, and is often celebrated by binge drinking [I think St. Patrick might have been the patron saint of Guinness(1)]...

Then there is March 19 - my birthday. This year marks the twenty-sixth anniversary of my birth. Since my loving and thoughtful husband decided to book a tour for his band over my birthday (again), I decided that the best place to celebrate year XXVI would be in New Orleans, LA (where the weather forecast for said birthday is currently 77 degrees and sunny). All I really want for my birthday this year is a tan ("melanoma" is clearly a conspiracy fabricated by Coppertone(2)), and maybe a tattoo of a Julius Caesar dressed as a leprechaun...

As 26 approaches, I find myself in a scenery defined by an unprecedented permanence. No longer a student awaiting the next semester or graduation, no longer hanging on to my current job just long enough to find the next best thing, no longer a newlywed (you lose that title after the first year, right?)...I am profoundly settled. This is pretty new to me, this being settled- not really knowing what's around the corner, or where I'm headed or how I'm going to get there. Instead of thinking in terms of semesters, or years....I start to think about 5-year plans...or even 10-year plans (3).

This is partially comforting, as anticipating change often comes with its fair share of anxiety. But, it is also uncomfortable to be so settled. You start asking yourself questions you've never asked yourself before, like, "Wait, what am I really doing with my life, and why does it matter?" or, "What if I spend my whole life [insert some seemingly futile activity], and never find my true purpose?" Suddenly, we don't have our "whole lives" ahead of us anymore... we're down to like 70% - if we are lucky (4).

I know that if someone else were to actually read this blog, and if that someone happened to be a bit older than me, that they might laugh to themselves in a "wait til you're my age" sort of way. I know that 26 is still young - and it's not that I have a fear of growing older, or even a fear of dying. As I reflect upon my little life, it's not fear I feel, but an odd slow-motion type self-reflection...in which I feel a bit of pressure to reevaluate the course of my life - as if my twenties is a train depot and I've got to choose the train I'll be on for a good long while.

On a rational level, I know the train depot analogy doesn't have to hold true, that there is plenty of time to change trains, but the sense of urgency still lingers in my subconscious.

This year, I have awakened my desire to seek guidance in regards to my life's purpose from a higher power, namely, God. I have been reading the bible with renewed interest and studiousness (couldn't think of a better word). I am trying to push aside some of the cynicism and skepticism I cultivated throughout my early twenties, in order to rediscover (or, perhaps, discover) the childlike faith that Jesus instructs his disciples to have.

So far the results are inconclusive - but I'll keep you updated.

One thing I do know is that I'm going to work hard on that tan.

lovecare.

Footnotes:
(1) He is actually the patron saint of Ireland, but that's no fun.
(2) The author of this blog in no way advocates the prolonged exposure to UVA or UVB rays without adequate SPF protection.
(3) Any references to spawning/acquiring children have been ommitted for purposes of avoiding annoying nosy inquiries regarding time frames and intentions of said spawning.
(4) Calculation barring both an untimely death and any significant scientific advancements prolonging the human lifespan.

I like to do things that Seth Rowe does.

Hey there blogspots.

Welcome to my blog. I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but I was inspired to capture my often pointless, sometimes insightful, thoughts in this cyber-web because of one person:Seth D. Rowe.

Back in the day I used to write in my "livejournal." I loved the livejournal days where a small community of thoughtful journalers could catch up on each others witty and articulate musings. But then along came FACEBOOK. The epitomy of instant cyber-gratification. Who wants to sit and think about what to write in their blog when they are just clicks away from checking out whose status is no longer listed as "in a relationship" (aw, snap!).

So when I saw (on his Twitter status, I might add) that Seth had started a blog, I thought to myself, "I don't have the time or energy to invest in these cyber-relationships." But in my attempt to avoid real work at my place of employment, I decided to check out Seth's blog anyway and remembered the good ol' livejournal days - and I wanted to go back.

So alas, here I am, on Tab #5 of my Firefox browser (after gmail, gcalendar, facebook, and twitter), and I am writing a blog....on Blogger. Now I just have to think of something to say...